[think kit. day four.]
INDIANAPOLIS — Decisions and I have a tumultuous relationship. Example: More often than not, I ask to go last when ordering dinner with a group. I almost always get the same thing at Starbucks, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering, Should I get something different this time? “You can go ahead of me,” I often say to the poor souls behind me in line.
Interestingly enough, when it comes to decisions bigger than food and beverage — like choosing an apartment or where to go to college — I know exactly what I want. My husband sometimes calls such behavior “impulsive.”
These instincts are often muddled by my tendency toward stubbornness and the strange phenomenon called Catholic guilt.
I hit a point this year when I was really unhappy, and I knew why, but I didn’t want to make the decision I knew was best for me. It would have made me feel like a quitter (stubbornness), and I would have let others down (Catholic guilt). So I let things be.
After several months of this misery, I made a choice: Since then, this year has been about easing my grip on stubbornness, trying to be more positive and acting on what’s best for me and my family. That got me to where I am right now: Happy with my career, enjoying my community and treasuring my moments at home. I’m not sure I have enough life experience to know what wisdom feels like, but I think that series of decisions came pretty damn close.
Other wise decisions I have made:
» to take a five-hour nap after work today, because sometimes it’s the best way to clear my head. As such, I have yet again written a Think Kit post after midnight.
» to Netflix binge on “The Office” while Matt is out of town. When I woke up at 11 p.m., the first episode I watched featured one of the best cold opens in the series: Dwight’s fire drill in Season 5.
» to have a glass of wine.
» to learn to make GIFs. I noticed when scrolling through recent photos that I had a series of pictures that could be a flipbook. So I learned to make a GIF out of photos.
[Think Kit Dec. 4 prompt: What was the wisest decision you made this year? Who did it impact? Describe your decision-making process, discuss the results, or just share a little learned wisdom.]